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INTRODUCTION
"We
should accept the fact that on most significant political and moral
issues intelligent people of character will disagree. While it's appropriate
to advocate and defend one's convictions with passion, I think it's
illogical and unethical to reflexively treat people who disagree as
enemies or conclude that by virtue of their contrary beliefs they are
evil, stupid or both. It's also a mistake to think that the intensity
of our convictions increases the likelihood that we're right or gives
us permission to demonize those who think otherwise."
-- Michael Josephson
Only a tiny minority
of list members ever become a problem. These rules look long and detailed.
They needed to be that way to deal fairly with a few problem people in
the past. A good rule of thumb is to treat others on the list as you would
someone who you were talking to face to face. Chances are that you do
this anyway and this will not be a problem.
These rules may look
imposing, but they are really not. If you follow basic principles of courtesy
and respect for your fellow list members, the rules will be largely irrelevant.
List administration's overall objective is to provide an enjoyable and
safe environment where INFJs (and other types who are interested in experiencing
a dominant INFJ environment) can discuss their thoughts and feelings.
We believe that any topic of interest should be open for discussion, but
we reserve the right to regulate the manner in which that discussion takes
place. As a practical matter, a major list disturbance sucks all of the
life out of the list such that a) the combatants are virtually the only
posters, and b) admin receives mass pleas to "make them stop!"
Our rules consist
of two major canons and several minor rules that will usually trigger
administration intervention. Please note that a steady pattern of violating
even minor rules will elicit administrative sanctions beyond just warnings
and a request to change the behavior.
Please also note
that rule and decision making from the admin team is final and there is
no appeal. We take great pains to apply the rules equally to all members
based on the prohibited behavior, putting personal feelings aside. We
also make every attempt to consider the position of all parties involved
when making a rule or sanctioning a behavior, but our first responsibility
is the peace and stability of the list. Taking administrative action against
a list member is not anything we enjoy doing, but sometimes it is necessary
for the list as a whole.
Regarding the finality
of administrative decisions - those who attempt to argue with us may not
know the whole picture. Furthermore, administration does not publicly
share information relating to our actions. This is so we can protect the
privacy of the individuals involved. Once we have made a decision to sanction
a member, that member will receive a private message indicating the particular
rule that was violated and the nature of the sanction. Unless there is
a gross misstatement of the facts upon which the sanction is based, there
is no point in writing us about it. Arguing with an administrative decision
is unlikely to change the outcome.
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MAJOR
RULES - CANON I
Do not engage in
disruptive, uncivil behavior. A good rule of thumb is if you wouldn't
say something to someone when they were in the same room with you, it's
probably a bad idea to say it on the list. These behaviors include, but
are not limited to, the examples listed below.
1) Flaming
- To post an email message intended to insult and provoke, such as name
calling, frequent use of acerbic comments, etc. This category also includes
"dictionary flaming" which is an attempt to sidetrack a debate away from
issues by asking for a definition of practically every word and/or concept
involved.
2) Trolling or
Baiting - This is making inflammatory statements or specious arguments
that are intended to create conflict. Sometimes people inadvertently make
inflammatory remarks. If this happens to you, please apologize for it
and then drop it. If you suspect that a message has been intentionally
posted to generate conflict, the best course of action is to not respond
at all, or to respond only calmly. Keep in mind that getting angry and
attacking the person is exactly what they are looking for.
3) Badgering
- This is harassing or annoying someone by continuing to revisit the same
point or ask the same question over and over again. It is related to Dead
Horse flogging, but sounds more like a cross examination than a discussion.
4) Dead Horse
Flogging - Occasionally a topic will be discussed to the point where
a few people are continuing to beat it into the ground, even if the respective
parties' positions are abundantly clear. If administration deems that
the issue is just annoying people and nothing of new substance is being
said, it may declare the topic a dead horse either temporarily or permanently.
If a list member continues to carry on the discussion after it has been
declared a dead horse (taking into account that a digest member may have
a delay in seeing the dead horse declaration), they will be subject to
administrative action. If you are on digest, we expect you to cease as
soon as you have received the "dead horse" designation for that topic.
NOTE: Administration
does not plan to declare a "dead horse" time unless it feels that continuing
the discussion is simply likely to lead to list wide conflict and that
further discussion of the topic will just generate more ill will.
5) Refusing To
Stop - If a person involved in a debate or argument expresses a desire
to drop the subject, the other party or parties should do so. Occasionally
a person on digest will weigh in on a topic before they see the request
to drop the subject. If this happens, do not take it as a reason to revisit
the issue. If you must comment, take it offlist and discuss it privately.
Also please note that if you are observing a discussion that you don't
like, you have two alternatives: delete messages concerning that topic
and/or start another discussion.
6) Monday Morning
Quarterbacking - This is second-guessing and/or complaining when administration
has to step in and take action against a list member, or doing the same
about making or modifying a rule. Obviously, a list member who was sanctioned
will probably not like it. However, administrative decisions are not open
to debate onlist. Complaining about how unfair you or someone else has
been treated is not productive and impedes the list moving on. If the
person who was sanctioned argues with the administrative decision onlist,
they will be immediately and permanently removed. This is also true regarding
making or modifying rules. If someone else complains about the treatment
of someone else on the list, they will, at minimum, receive a warning.
7) Type Bashing
- Do not make blanket, negative statements about a type or a group of
types. It is OK to admit that you have a personal problem with a type
or a group of types. It is also OK to state tendencies, i.e. make an observation
about how many people of a given type may behave. Type, like all social
sciences, is never absolute.
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MAJOR
RULES - CANON II
Posting Private
Messages and Cross Posting
Do not post messages
from this list to another list. Also do not post private messages to this
list. List members have been seriously hurt when private messages, or
replies to private messages have been posted to this or another list.
Members have also been harmed when a message from our mailing list has
been posted to another mailing list. Harm does not always occur when this
happens, but the potential for it is large, so it is not allowed.
Exceptions to this
are jokes and other internet news items that are forwarded around to many
people. Messages from someone who wrote something on another list or wrote
something to you privately, may be posted if you have his or her permission.
Please note that
just because you were one party to a private or list message does not
give you the automatic right to post it here or anywhere else. Both parties
must consent. This is a private membership list, and discussions here
are intended for list members only. If someone sends you a reply to a
list message privately and it appears to be intended for the list, check
with the sender before sending it to the list.
Never post to INFJ-L
and also include another mailing list or a non-list member in the To or
CC line. INFJ-L is not private in the sense that it would be impossible
for information shared on the list to end up some place else. However,
we try to do all we can to keep discussions on INFJ-L among INFJ list
members only. Anyone caught forwarding messages to a non-list member or
another list, will face administrative action.
Do not sign INFJ-L
up to another mailing list (sounds crazy, but it happened). INFJ-L members
may be interested in joining other mailing lists, and those lists may
be discussed here; but do not sign up INFJ-L, or send an automated "reply
to this to join" invitation to the INFJ-L address.
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MINOR
RULES
A) Don't Overquote
- Excessive quoting when replying is an especially frustrating problem
for list members who receive the digest, and it eats up server bandwidth.
Please take the time to edit your reply so that you include only the *minimum*
needed to provide context to your reply. This is usually about a paragraph.
This is especially critical since the list membership currently generates
such a high volume of traffic on our server.
B) Quoting the
Right Person - Please be sure you are attributing the quoted material
to the correct individual. This is especially important when your reply
includes quotes from more than one person.
C) Be tolerant
of other viewpoints - There are no off limit topics on the INFJ list.
However, certain subjects like religion and politics, for example, tend
to be particularly sensitive and subjective, and many list members have
strong feelings about them. Although most of the list members are INFJs,
please do not assume, simply because we are all the same personality type,
that everyone on the list has the same beliefs and views you do; please
be tolerant of differences. Also, if you are not INFJ (or not sure that
you are), it helps to note that fact when you post messages. It will help
to avoid miscommunication.
D) Urban Legends
- Please do not use the list to pass on urban legends (untrue stories
that have often been floating around the net for years) or fake virus
warnings (check all virus warnings with a reliable source before believing
them). Please do not send the list petitions, pass on notices of "charitable"
acts or send chain letters. You can check out urban legends and hoaxes
before posting at The Urban Legends Reference
Page (aka Snopes.com).
E) Excessive Complaining
- We attempt to create a safe environment for people to discuss issues
in their lives. People do discuss their problems here and most people
on the list enjoy helping others as much as they can. We recognize that
some real-life issues are not resolvable in the forum of a mailing list.
That said, INFJ-L is not an appropriate venue for acting out. We recommend
that someone who has a major life issue (including, but not limited to:
substance abuse by themselves or a loved one, legal issues, and chronic
mental health issues) seek out appropriate, professional help. These issues
can be discussed here, but they are too large to be dealt with over the
Interne,t and they can become disruptive to the list if they are continually
revisited with little hope of actual resolution.
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WHAT
ADMINISTRATION WILL DO WITH VIOLATIONS
Again, all administrative
decisions are final and there are no appeals. When it comes to sanctions,
we sincerely desire win-win situations where a person can see how their
behavior is disruptive/uncivil and change it accordingly. Our first responsibility,
however, is to the overall objective stated above - even at the expense
of an individual member, if necessary.
Whenever administration
needs to step into a situation, our overlying goal is to stop the offending
behavior, not remove someone from the list. People tend to respond in
one of three ways when administration contacts them:
1) They acknowledge
that they broke the rules and they clearly indicate that they won't do
it again. Many times they apologize, which is appreciated, but not entirely
necessary.
2) The person does
not really believe that they did anything wrong; however, they indicate
that they will comply with administration's request anyway.
3) The person is
openly defiant regarding administration's request.
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VIOLATION
OF MAJOR RULES
Rule violations are
not counted "per thread", but are based on conduct during the times stated
below. The typical process for a major rule violation is the following:
1) The first offense
results in a warning. A warning is a private message from admin to the
violator which indicates that he or she broke a rule and that a probationary
period is in effect.
2) The second offense
during the probationary period results in some form of suspension for
a period of time. They will either be removed from the list or have their
posting privileges terminated for a stated period of time.
3) The third offense
during a probationary period results in permanent removal.
The
general probationary periods are as follows:
After a warning,
a person will be on probation for six months. If he or she breaks a major
list rule again during that time, he or she will be suspended for a time
determined by admin and will be on probation for one year starting from
the time of the second infraction. A third offense during the probationary
period will result in permanent removal.
The probationary
period may be modified based on how the violator reacts to administration's
intervention. If the person acknowledges that he or she behaved inappropriately
and clearly indicates an intention to change their behavior, administration
may reduce the probationary period.
If the violator is
openly defiant, administration will probably remove them permanently.
At that point they have, in effect, indicated their intent not to comply
with our rules and it's a waste of everyone's time to simply prolong the
inevitable.
Please note that
admin believes people can change and requests for reinstatement may be
granted on a case by case basis.
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VIOLATION
OF MINOR RULES
The typical process
for violation of minor rules is a warning and a request to not do it again.
The warning period is not infinite, however. Frequent (like more than
once a month) violations of minor rules may result in major rule sanctions
being imposed.
In some cases, the
above rules are more liberal than the previous ones, and in some cases
may be more harsh. However, based on the survey results taken in October
and past experience, we feel they are fair and we expect every member
to read and abide by them.
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"Kindness
is always fashionable."
Amelia E. Barr
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